unborn

I’m so happy.

I’m 31 weeks in.

I only have 9 more to go.

What a CRAZY battle this has been.

And I mean CRAZY.

Pregnancy isn’t something simple. I definitely thought it was though. I thought it would be like getting fat. The weight of a baby & the weight of fat, while they may be the same weight, affects you completely different. Plus, with the combined total of other things that come with pregnancy, I’d have to say pregnancy, in itself, sucks. YET, knowing continually throughout the pregnancy that you have LIFE inside you, makes it more than worthwhile. Because it’s not just any life. It is a life that you have created, through love and affection to another person, and together, you have made something that you will love more than anything. All our lives we SEARCH for someone to love, but the greatest love, is that of which you create: a baby.

Pregnancy is actually one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Not because of the obvious reasons, like vomiting, stress, and labor, but because of the other ten million things that occur during it that no one seems to mention, like round ligament pain, anemia, hypoglycemia, and the all around exhaustion from doing absolutely nothing.

Pregnancy is NOT an easy ride. But it sure as Hell is worth it in the end.

Sure.

Pregnancy comes with ups and downs, but what people who have never been pregnant fail to realize is how hard it really can be. People seem to think, you have a baby in your belly, and that’s it. But all of the moving your body has to do internally is actually extremely exhausting. When you become pregnant, and the baby grows, your organs gets pushed up into your rib cage in order to provide room for the baby. Then, you start gaining weight, which already makes it a bit harder to do daily activities because you’re suddenly heavier. Your body also needs more oxygen for the baby, therefore leaving you catching your breath from a simple walk up the stairs. Your body also goes under extreme hormonal changes, leaving your brain to be emotional, not emotional, emotional, which can be extremely exhausting as well. Then, there’s round ligament pain, that results from the growing of the baby.

Pregnancy is NOT easy. A day of doing absolutely nothing can leave a pregnant mother feeling absolutely exhausted for no reason.

I hate being sick and pregnant. It is absolutely the worst thing in the world.

What’s funny though is that the baby can supposedly hear me now and understand my voice is its mother’s.

But in reality, all it hears is sniffs, coughs, sneezes, weezes, and me blowing my nose.

And they say I should start singing to my baby. I wouldn’t even try to sing in the state I’m in.

My baby also only seems to kick me to nag about something. Yesterday, it was quiet all day until I got hungry, thus making it hungry, and it started kicking me. Today, I can’t go back to sleep, and its kicking me. Like, stfu. I already know. I already got my mom nagging me on this shit.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for the first time.

My pregnancy test turned out positive, but you know, when you’ve got hormones like me, you don’t want to get your hopes up too much. So we looked to see if we could find a heartbeat.

As soon as I heard it, tears started streaming down my face. The nurse is estimating that I’m 12 weeks. That means I’m done with my stupid first trimester hell. <3

I go in for the ultrasound on Friday. Hopefully after the ultrasound we can find out just how far along I really am and maybe get to find out the gender of my baby.

I’m already feeling the weight of the baby weigh down my tummy when I stand up. It’s kinda bothersome and I feel silly putting my hands under my belly.

For the first time throughout this whole pregnancy, I feel 100% excited. And it feels 100% amazing. I don’t know why any woman would not want to go through this.

These hormones

are worse than PMS. Pregnancy is like one big period without the blood. This fucking sucks. This kid better be fucking grateful for its life, with the shit its putting me through. All because I love it.

I started laughing, then crying today.

It’s crazy. I was just searching the internet because I was ultimately bored, and what other things could possibly be on my mind while I feel weak & nauseous than my baby? So I decide to look at different week by week pregnancy calendars…and everything they were saying matched up perfectly. And then I read this:

Week 10 of Pregnancy On your baby’s to-do list this week: Build bones and cartilage. On your agenda, increase your fiber intake to cope with pregnancy constipation.

& I just lost it. Because I’ve had so much bowel issues recently & was craving a breakfast cereal that contained the most fiber we had. It didn’t even occur to me the wonders a body can do when it needs something so the mind sends cravings in order to receive it. It just drove me crazy. It was like a slap in the face, telling me, finally, this is for fucking real.
Although I have felt THE worst I ever have during this pregnancy, it is probably the best time of my life. This experience isn’t something any woman should miss for the world.